


I Know.

by hauntedwhispers



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Suicide, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, also kind of sweet, angsty, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 13:11:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3210374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hauntedwhispers/pseuds/hauntedwhispers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You were fighting. It was happening more and more lately</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know.

You were fighting. It was happening more and more lately, what with the added stress of you having to rebuild shield and the avengers off doing their own thing. So far the only thing keeping you sane was Steve but even that was starting to slip slowly away.   
"(Y/N) it's _not my fault._ " Steve insisted  
"Really well it sure as hell isn't mine!" You yelled back, slamming the door as you walked into the apartment, Steve dodging it as he followed.  
"You're being ridiculous!"  
" _Am I_?" You were, you knew you were.  
"Yes! You are! And it’s making me mad."  
"Oh gosh! making the Worlds Nicest Guy angry” you feigned fear, “what're you gonna do Cap? You gonna hit me? You gonna bust me up real good like you do to _all_ those HYDRA agents?" You could see Steve beginning to lose it. You could see the blood rising to his face. You saw the look that washed over him. The one he got when someone pissed him off. Quiet but deadly. It killed you that you were on the receiving end of it but you just couldn't stop pushing. "What's the matter Steve? Man With The Plan got nothing to say?"  
"Stop it.”  
"Oh so he _does_ speak. Pray tell, _oh Great Hero_ , what is it you think you can do to me?" You heard him snarl. This was it. You had pulled on his last nerve and it had snapped. He had finally snapped. 

Steve charged toward you, slamming you against the wall. You weren't big, not compared to him, but you were strong. You knew you could get out of his hold if you really tried but the force with which you hit the wall had knocked the wind out of you. Instead, you held his gaze as he stared you down.   
"I may be the World's Nicest Guy but that doesn't mean I can't hurt you."  
You stared straight into his eyes. "So do it." That caught him off guard.   
"What?"  
Steve moved his arm off your chest, holding you at arms length and just staring at you. He just stood there and stared as you looked down, staring at the floor, eyes trained on the ground in front of you.

"Do it. Hurt me. _Kill me_ because I am holding on by a thread here." You looked up at him, his shocked, confused look meeting your helpless one. "My life is splintering and there is nothing I can do about it. I'm like a broken, empty jar being held together with nothing but some damn craft glue. I can't do it anymore Steve. So please. Just do it. Hurt me." Tears welled up in your eyes and you slid to the ground, Steve too shocked to hold you up. "Kill me." You whispered as you felt the salty water slide down your face.  

Steve just stared at you while you sobbed quietly. He sighed and sat down next to you, wrapping his arms around your shaking body.   
"I'm sorry." You breathed, wiping your tears. "I know it's not your fault." You looked up at him, his eyes the picture of worry and resignation. "You were just doing your job, you can't protect everyone."  
"I'm sorry too. I should have watched him closer. He was your brother."   
"You couldn't have known that Steve. He was just another uniform in the blur. He didn't even know you. He didn't really even know me."  
Steve hugged you close, letting you slide into his lap and lean you head against his chest.  
"(Y/N)?"  
"Yeah" you mumbled, face pressed close into his chest.   
"Look at me." You sighed and looked up at him.   
"Promise me you'll never leave."  
"Ste-"  
"No, promise me. Promise me no matter what you will hold on. Because I don't know what I'd do if you ever-" his voice broke and you could feel the emotion he was trying to hold back. He took a deep breath "If you ever left me. Please, please god don't ever leave me."   


You tried to give him what he wanted, to swear to stay with him forever, but you couldn’t. Instead you leaned up and kissed him hard, trying to channel everything you felt into the kiss. How much you wanted him, how much you needed him. How much you  _loved_ him. He cupped your cheek with his hand and you could feel the tears falling from his eyes. You broke the kiss and pressed your forehead against his, both of you breathing hard. "I promise I will try and hold on as long as I can, but you have to understand that it's hard. It's so fucking hard Steve you don't even know."  
He closed his eyes "I do know."

You buried your head into the crook of his neck, kissing it lightly. 

Nothing more was said, neither of you needed it; you both know knew how the other felt, you both knew that you needed each other, and _you_ knew that he would always be there.He would be your rock, holding you up, just as he was now, when you were ready to give in. But you wouldn’t give in. Not again. Not now you knew how much it would hurt him... With that you felt yourself begin to fall asleep. 

"I love you. I'm sorry" You whispered.   
“I love you too. I’m sorry. I know.”

 


End file.
